Who Are You?: am a big girl now, eighteen years!

Where Are You?: at this very moment i'm sat in a library, a little stoned, wondering what to do with the rest of my day, wondering who will come for coffee with me...will you? someone....anyone....

What Are You?: i used to be a fanzine girl. now i'm just lost and doing my alevels and wondering if i'll get my grades for london or not! meh...

What do you make?: trouble for myself. other people smile, sometimes, but most of the time i make them worry and sigh and look concerned.

What do you love?: oh oh oh i love so much, like the new jack album, and papa was a rodeo on repeat and dancing round and round the room and drinking vodka at 1pm after alevel french speaking exams, and being happy, and boys in flares, and sunny days by the cathedral, and 50p coffees, and coloured feathers from the sewing shop and random days and mad nights and sleeping and dreaming and mayonnaise.

What do you hate?: i hate being used, cos that seems to happen to me more than it should. and i hate the aftermath of broken long term relationships where you have to return his copy of sci fi lullabies and dream city film club only to discover he's lost your copy of the damned and the beautiful by FSF.i also hate the pressure of 'a'levels and the worry of not getting into KCL.

What do you listen to?: ohh at the moment, the new jack album, 69 love songs, chelsea hotel #2 and downtown...that's my latest musical excursion pretty much, with the odd forage into 'i know its over' by the smiths to pine pine away. oh and i listen to *his* songs...

What do you watch?: i watch people whilst i sit by the cathedral trying to read about immigration in france, and i wish want him to walk past and he never does. only if it's raining. and i watch my money falling away on nothing much but stripy socks and silly makeup.

What do you drink?: anything. mainly other people's drinks when i run out of money. baileys before 12. vodka after 12. then malibu after 6.

What do you smoke?: marlboro lights = staple diet. marlboro lights menthols = desert cigarette. and lucky strikes = as a treat for when i've been good.

What do you take?: prescription painkillers to sleep. nicotine and caffeine and alcohol to dance. my vitamins to counteract my meatfree diet.my usage of anything illegal is sporadic, tho becoming frequently regular with my recent state of mind. but generally am sensible girl until the sun starts shining and am wearing a skirt.

What do you believe in?: magic! and stars and love and a vague belief in people, atleast my friends...

When We Were 16

Where were you?: still here, this goddamn awful city that i shall be escaping hopefully in 3 months, i was at a posh school hating all the teachers and kids equally and causing more mischief than i should have dared.

What were you?: i was a messed up sorrowful 16 year old girl who preferred solitude to 'sortir' and took an unhealthy interest in wearing black and writing fanzines about bands no one cared much for.

What did you wear?: home made tshirts and skirts and too much glitter and too few smiles.

What did you listen to?: stuff like old manics, and old suede, and some nice indie like marion and geneva. oh and the smiths and joy division. and jack. somethings never leave you. like the tindersticks as well i suppose.

What did you watch?: too much mtv, i used to harbour death wishes on the presenters....

What did you love?: a certain boy who i fell out of love with only last month. but for 2 years he was everything.

What did you hate?: the same boy, and my mother and her boyfriend, and myself and my life and my school and everything in general.

What did you drink?: vodka, religiously.

What did you smoke?: marlboro lights, i never grew out of that bad habit, meh!

What did you take?: not a lot. i was good. tho my memory may be going all selective on me this afternoon.

What did you want to be?: a music journalist. or a rock star. or something famous. i wanted to be a cool, nice, better person who people liked.

Who did you fight?: i fought everyone around me who dared to exist in close proximity. i fought myself mainly.

Who/What did you believe in?: i believed that richey was alive and i believed that this would never get better, ever.

Where did you go?: i went forward in myself and learn to be happier and to like things about myself and learnt that music can make you happy as well as sad, and that boys like long hair.

What did you learn?: i learnt that cliches exist for a reason - cos they're all true! i learnt that maybe fate exists, and that magic does exist sometimes. and when it happens it the best thing in the world, but you just have to make sure you're strong enough to deal with what happens when it goes away.

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