Who Are You?: Alan Burns, aged 23

Where Are You?: Edinburgh.

What Are You?: failed student. guitarist/vocalist for Edinburgh band Private Jackson. supermarket drone

What do you make?: guitar parts for songs.

What do you love?: music that sounds like it comes from another planet, with as limited appeal as possible.

What do you hate?: populism and popular culture, especially the current indie=mainstream cesspit we've been in for the past ten years. most of all would like to wipe all NME readers from the face of the earth by whatever method most efficient

What do you listen to?: Nurse With Wound, Whitehouse, Throbbing Gristle, Psychic TV, Coil, Kraftwerk, Neu, Cluster, Faust, La Dusseldorf, Ash Ra Tempel, Amon Duul II, Brian Eno, Klaus Schulze, Television, Neil Young

What do you watch?: repeats of Only Fools & Horses, any news programmes. oh and Phoenix Nights is the only TV series of my generation worth bothering about.

What do you drink?: lager

What do you smoke?: whatever's going round, if at house party and drunk. otherwise nothing

What do you take?: The Times or The Guardian

What do you believe in?: I'm still holding on in blind faith praying and hoping that the first three Kraftwerk records will be reissued on proper CDs before I die

When We Were 16

Where were you?: at school in Kilmarnock, Ayrshire

What were you?: a social outcast

What did you wear?: school uniform

What did you listen to?: finally got a CD player when I was 16. The first bunch of CDs I bought were the first Stooges album, the first two Tangerine Dream albums, bootlegs of the early Kraftwerk stuff and Washing Machine by Sonic Youth, the only worthwhile album released on any major label in the mid 90s

What did you watch?: The Simpsons.

What did you love?: Sonic Youth.

What did you hate?: sodding Britpop, the most septic pus-filled sore ever to scar the face of popular music

What did you drink?: Irn Bru

What did you smoke?: nothing

What did you take?: an Umbro rucksack full of books & folders

What did you want to be?: the guitarist & singer in a band

Who did you fight?: no-one

Who/What did you believe in?: God (well, was conditioned to do so since birth)

Where did you go?: school

What did you learn?: barre chords on the guitar

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