Who Are You?:
Where Are You?: Whiling away a dull night shift in Erdington a suburb in north Birmingham UK
What Are You?: Fat, 42, bearded, Orson Welles impersonator, independent free thinker, intelligent, trapped in computer operations and a 76K mortgage.
What do you make?: Copious amounts of stomach acid and methane
What do you love?: My wife, my home, Belgian beer, Cecilia Bartoli - THE singer of our life time, peace and quiet. Belgium and its wonderful beers.
What do you hate?: Sport and what it does to people. It's the root of all evil. If sport makes you chant like an ape and shave your hair and be violent and everything else it causes it's time it was stopped and it's organisers taken out and shot like dogs in the street. Get sports fans interested in care of the elderly instead. Also hate litter, gum, laddish behaviour, lack of manners, crap driving, telephones, the smell of kebabs, bloody newspapers and the people who write them and the idiots who can't think without them
What do you listen to?: The Fall, the absolutely awesome Cecilia Bartoli, the woman who changed my life.
What do you watch?: Hollywood classics 1920-1970, Kieslowski, Laurel and Hardy, Bilko, Teletext, Orson Welles. The first series of "Murder One" was the best TV I ever saw. The bottoms of too many glasses coming up towards me!
What do you drink?: Belgian beer (Tripel/Geuze/Lambic/Tarwebier/Trappist), English "Real Ale" bitter (Abbot, Landlord, Snecklifter etc) beer,tea, gin and tonic.
What do you smoke?: Just about on the verge of being a non-smoker, so I want te be able to say nothing.Ask me again next week.
What do you take?: Kelp, with food, three times a day.It's given me a metabolism! Also experimenting with Evening Primrose oil for my joints. Setlers, Gaviscon, Rennies, and my chances on the wall of death.
What do you believe in?: I believe in the principles of freemasonry although I'm struggling with my faith, that the Belgians are the brewing masters of the world, also in being a good vegetarian, and the huge spiritual benefits of the voice of Cecilia Bartoli.
When We Were 16Where were you?: Walsall, England
What were you?: "A" level student
What did you wear?: Denim and Army & Navy stuff
What did you listen to?: David Bowie and Roxy Music
What did you watch?: Crossroads, Coronation Street, MacMillan and Wife, anything with subtitles
What did you love?: Sleeping, schoolgirls
What did you hate?: Sport, "Physical Education" teachers, meat eaters, the Welsh.
What did you drink?: Newcastle Brown, home brewed bitter, cider, Brasso.
What did you smoke?: Players number 6 tipped
What did you take?: Liberties
What did you want to be?: A doctor
Who did you fight?: School hard men
Who/What did you believe in?: Socialist principles, very anti Tory.
Where did you go?: To my mum's in Dudley
What did you learn?: Once you've spent it nobody's going to give you any more.