Who Are You?: justice

Where Are You?: Stuck in an office on a Sunday afternoon

What Are You?: A magazine editor who got so fed up working on a Sunday afternoon that he went looking for info on 'Appliance' and ended up here

What do you make?: More mess in the office than any other employee, and occasionally a computer games magazine

What do you love?: Anything silver with lots of buttons and little red lights on it, and my cat 'Rafiki'

What do you hate?: Working weekends for a company that sees 36 hour shifts as an acceptable alternative to adequate staffing

What do you listen to?: Radio 1 generally

What do you watch?: Star Trek, Cheech & Chong, Simpsons, anything with Christina Ricci

What do you drink?: Far too much Coca Cola, not enough Budweiser

What do you smoke?: Only what I inhale passively

What do you take?: Far too long dreaming up answers to questions on the Internet when I should be working

What do you believe in?: About 50% of the stuff shown on the X-Files

When We Were 16

Where were you?: At a local sixth form, busy failing my A levels

What were you?: I believe 'Dropout' was the term most frequently used

What did you wear?: Everything from leathers and bandanas to white denim jackets and a Tesco uniform

What did you listen to?: Iron Maiden, Marillion, Prince, whatever I could get my hands on

What did you watch?: Red Dwarf, Star Wars, Star Trek

What did you love?: Flirting with any girl at the sixth form that would let me, and then, my long-time girlfriend Emma-Jane

What did you hate?: Getting asked for ID, even when trying to order a round of soft drinks at 'The Jolly Farmer'

What did you drink?: Jack Daniels and Coke, Budweiser, or Orange juice and lemonade if I was at 'The Jolly Farmer'

What did you smoke?: Marlboro

What did you take?: Nothing seriously

What did you want to be?: An architect, a basketball player or a surfer

Who did you fight?: Nobody, I was far too busy trying to get laid

Who/What did you believe in?: My circle of friends, most of whom turned out to be complete assholes

Where did you go?: To any pub that would let me in

What did you learn?: Never to put off making your move on a girl, there's nothing more annoying that meeting up with a girl you never made your move on years later and having her tell you that she felt the same way etc.