Where are you? In my Secret Laboratory.
What are you? A writer.
What do you make? Finely crafted portions of text and finely crafted portions of vegetable
What do you love? Untouched countryside under windy blue skies; but I settle for one or the
other. Other human beings, to varying degrees.
What do you hate? The usual suspects, and only a little less than I used to.
What do you listen to? The clock tick; as much music as ever.
What do you watch? Squirrels running along the tops of fences, the monitor, far too much
football, the colours on the screen of my closed eyelids.
What do you drink? Abbot Ale, Leffe, Famous Grouse, Port, French and Hungarian wines,
Volvic, tea, and London tap water.
What do you smoke? The doubts out of my hesitant mind.
What do you take? Too much time to do too little. Ibuprofen.
What do you believe in? Beginnings, endings, and rollercoaster middles.
When We were 16.
Where were you? In my Pantry; otherwise, on a 134 bus between Walsham-le-Willows and Bury
What were you? Under the influence of Steven Patrick and a desperate level of desire: one and
the same thing, really.
What did you wear? Black, blue, and even occasionally red.
What did you listen to? Hatful of Hollow', the Jasmine Minks, Big Flame, New Order, and wheat
What did you watch? Alex and Heather in love; the horizon.
What did you love? Burning fields, and the fact that I no longer cared about - felt free of - all the
scumbags at school.
What did you hate? The scumbags at school and the scumbags in government.
What did you drink? Lager, rum and coke, and that's about it, baby.
What did you smoke? Small mammals out of the stubble.
What did you take? No time at all in losing my first girlfriends.
What did you want to be? A writer, vaguely. A fanzine writer, definitely.
Who did you fight? Myself mostly, my family occasionally.
Who/What did you believe in? Alex and Heather, John Peel, Steven Patrick, socialism, and myself,
Where did you go? Into town, and out to village discos.
What did you learn? Not nearly as much as I should have.