START WITH A RANT ABOUT THE STUPIDITY OF THE TITLE IF THE TITLE IS THAT DUMB, MAYBE I SHOULD EXPLAIN WHY I USED IT A COUPLE OF EXAMPLES OF ROCK UTOPIA CONTINUE WITH A FEW RANDOM POINTS TWO QUESTIONS AN EXPLANATION A COUPLE OF JOKES SOME GENUINE EXAMPLES OF "ROCK UTOPIA" IF I'M BEING TOTALLY HONEST THEN I SHOULD ALSO ADD THIS . . . WHAT THE HELL DOES "ROCK UTOPIA" MEAN ANYWAY? SOME LINES FROM A REVIEW OF GENE IN PARIS AN INCOMPLETE LIST OF ARTISTS WHO HAVE THREATENED TO PUNCH ME OUT, EITHER PRIVATELY OR PUBLICLY A COMPLETE LIST OF ARTISTS WHO HAVE ACTUALLY PUNCHED ME OUT WHAT RELEVANCE THIS HAS TO "ROCK UTOPIA" A QUICK DISS OF MY HOME COUNTRY ANOTHER ARTICLE CULLED FROM THE PAGES OF MELODY MAKER A QUICK RANT ABOUT HOW LIBERATING IT FEELS TO DISCOVER A GREAT NEW BAND THERE IS NO CHAPTER 18 MY ONE, TRUE, ROCK UTOPIA LIFE'S A BITCH, AIN'T IT?